oh i’ve lost it

I.
oh i’ve seem to lost it

something, which oh once allowed me to write all the love, that oh i wanted to

something, to which oh i can’t exactly put a name to; but oh it just isn’t around anymore.

i’ve tried, time and again

to be able to

but oh i just can’t.



II.
scrolling back to all that i’ve ever written; all of it feels like a sweet dream.

a dream that today, no matter how much i try, oh i just won’t be able to live.

oh i’ve wished and begged, everyday; just to be allowed to write.

to be allowed to express, all that would come to me

but oh i just can’t.


III.
writing love came to me, out of nowhere. it was but a gift.

but i guess, i’ve lost it now.

for my heart lies, a lil too damaged

to be able to feel, the way i used to

to be able to be the way, i’m meant to be.


IV.
oh i guess, it’ll but take a while, for me to return to writing

hopefully, i’m not gone too long

such that i forget, all that love taught me

such that i forget,

that oh i ever wrote.


i’ve always kept my pain to myself, but oh i just couldn’t seem to endure it any longer. having lost so much, the past year, i guess it was just inevitable, for me to fall.

this year, has been rather tiring and oh i’ve just no expectations whatsoever, from the next.

don’t know, where i’ll head next. but hopefully, i survive.

i’m sorry, for i’ve not really been myself.

i’m just sorry.

with love

16 comments

  1. Secrets · October 24

    Dear Lost Heart, you need not apologise for finding yourself in the wilderness. Seeing you share your authentic heart is enough for us to know that you will find your way. There is a certain beauty to be found in all our emotions and different seasons of life; it’s what makes us human. Rest, reflect and recover… There are no expectations or disappointments here. 💜

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Geino Äotsch · October 24

    Thinking of you and your optimistic love light. It’s always there. Burning bright from within. Such an inspiration. You are a powerful writer and lover. Just to think of what is to come…

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Sanya Singh · October 24

    THIS is beautifully written 💫
    I hope you have a better year ahead 🌼

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Gerry Palermo · October 24

    Thank you for sharing your inner thoughts.

    You should know when I read them it is a cause for celebration and prayer. Celebration that you engage the journey of self-discovery and prayer you be kept safe from any abuse or the excess control of emotion.

    Your generous spirit is the root of your person. While you process all these disappointments, please consider some volunteer time for women in crisis.

    Always my best hopes for you.

    Liked by 4 people

  5. EarthVessel · October 24

    Your soul is eternal
    It never forgets
    Resolve to wait and
    Empty your mind

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Lia · October 25

    Dear Srijan, I really can relate to this, so much… I have such periods of feeling just like this. But something always drives me to return to it. Beautifully written… I hope you continue.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. TheHiddenEdge · 29 Days Ago

    So sorry … I can hear the pain in your voice.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. carolinestreetblog · 29 Days Ago

    I understand, pain is keeping me from the work I usually do. It saps the inspiration. Just keep on keeping on. The sun will shine again. ❤️

    Liked by 3 people

  9. hiddenthoughts19 · 19 Days Ago

    Idk but it seems the thing you write heals me ! Every thing in this world has something to get healed.maybe through someone or through inner us or even both! Yes, writing comes through the pain that’s been for long! And that pain brings us to find ourselves and some refreshments!! This really touched me!😊

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Omatra7 · 17 Days Ago

    Awww 😕 this year has been rough luckily we are almost through it. 🙏 almost there!

    Don’t give up… cause you know, things change and life is a rollercoaster anyway. You going to have ups and downs

    Love hurts and love gets lost … but things happen when they are supposed to , that doesn’t mean you won’t know love again.

    2020 should teach you change ✌️ to take life in as it comes at you, but also roll with the changes …

    Life can bring some pretty amazing things when you least expect it ✌️

    Hope you are doing ok ✌️😘 take care

    Liked by 2 people

  11. wanagiyata · 10 Days Ago

    i know the feeling.. big hopeful : all will get better ❤️ to you…

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Ezekiel Soza · 7 Days Ago

    That 3rd stanza line, “Writing love came to me,” is a great inspiration for a long list of what writing can bring a person, can bring you. Thanks for sharing your work.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. DiosRaw · 6 Days Ago

    Sending you a ton of love and a big hug. 😘❤

    Liked by 1 person

  14. wardah · 5 Days Ago

    This is beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. aruna3 · 5 Days Ago

    Oh……most beautiful written in love😊

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Five · 3 Days Ago

    I couldn’t see the Like button but I say keep on writing – even if you are writing something which says you cannot write – a paradox! Keep sharing.

    Like

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