nuzhat

oh there’s an elegance and manner, to her

which is rather mesmerizing

so is the simplicity to her

that oh is but beautiful


oh how I’ve glanced at her eyes, a few times now

wondering, what is it that is but making her upset

for her eyes, never seem to smile


oh I feel a calmness in her

a peace; which tells me

how the one who she loves

will oh be lucky

for oh she’d love in a way oh so warmly

only to build a home, with him

and oh how beautiful, would it all be?


for then, she’ll but smile, genuinely

while being in love

and have a home

until forever

i wrote this a while ago. i didn’t add or change anything to this for, i guess it just feels better, if it’s more organic and natural

nuzhat was a girl in my batch. the meaning of her name is “precious”. i noticed her this one day when she wearing all blue. also had this cute blue hairband. she was looking rather pretty and just adorable.
as i’m just someone who cannot control his emotions, i remember texting later that day on this group chat of our batch, “the sky looked pretty today”. i’m guessing she didn’t realize that it was for her nor did anyone, but i guess they all had their predictions. i did tell someone about it and yeah.

this beautiful girl was different in many ways. she had this elegance to her and her ways, which was rather attractive and she also was rather mature.

she felt calm. serene.

she also had a sweet and caring nature to her. i felt a glimpse of it.

i also felt as if she was disguising her pain from all, that well, i saw in her eyes. i did confront her about it. she said no and stuff, but my heart wouldn’t take it.

never told her any of this. and probably never will, for it is time for me to depart again

but maybe someday, if meet again

until then

with love

barkat

oh my love, i’d like to visit the skies, with you sitting on my lap,
under the glistening pieces of light
for oh my love indeed, i did not gaze to care
if they were whole or not


oh how your almond like eyes felt so soft, as and when i looked into them
oh how i still seem to remember,
the way you held my lips to yours
oh how my love,

you tasted; your sweetest even on the darkest nights
making love, naked; beneath, underneath; all alike
in; oh your presence always felt the warmest


oh it was then i knew
all my love needed to prosper, was you

barkat is a urdu word which means ‘prosperity’.

romance in sickness

oh i suddenly woke up, and saw her, all uneasy! oh how she was struggling to sleep! i placed my hand over her forehead, and felt as to how hot it was! i asked her, that why didn’t she wake me up, for it was just midnight, and to which she replied, something that oh melted my heart, and made me kiss her forehead!

oh i tucked her nicely, under the bed, switched of all the fans, for she was feeling cold! i kissed her forehead, yet again, only to look for the thermometer! i finally found it, after looking for 5 mins, and brought it. i checked her forehead, only to gently kiss on her lips!

i got on the bed, and made her, keep her head, on my lap, while i placed the, thermometer below her tongue, while she told me to hurry up! I caressed her hair, and kissed her forehead, a number of times, very gently, so as to not disturb the reading of the thermometer! after two mins, i saw the reading, and oh it was 101! I kissed her forehead, yet again, only to slowly place her head over a pillow! i tucked her, gently yet again, only to kiss her on her cheeks and told her, that oh i’d be right back!

I rushed to the kitchen, to fetch a clean piece of cloth and bowl of cold water! I sat next to her, and oh she smiled, even in so much pain, for she called me towards her and whispered about her headache! i dipped the piece of cloth in the cold water and placed it vertically over her forehead! I held her hand in mine and told her, and that oh it’d be fine! I kissed on her cheeks! i changed it a couple of times, and held her hand yet again, while sitting right next to her! I slowly made her sit up, and made her, lay against my chest, and asked her to open her mouth! I gave her some water and asked her not to gulp it, but she did, and i had to give her a lil more water and then gave her the medicine! I now switched on the fan, but kept the speed a lil low! I became her bed, as I found her laying over me, while i caressed her hair and kissed her, and whispered her to rest, for oh she needed it!

i wrapped her in my arms, only to caress her back, so as to put her to sleep! and finally she slept, and oh it felt, beautiful for i felt her breathe which only made me kiss her! I kissed her, every-time she’d breathe, and oh there was no stopping!

After an hour, she was in deep sleep, and the fever was fading, for i felt, her forehead! She was still, laying over me, sweating a bit! I switched on the air conditioning, and placed her next to me! She made a resisting cute noise, so i went towards her, and placed a kiss on her lips, only to place her leg over mine, and slept with her!

I felt her hands holding me tight, only to make me hold her tighter! Soon, it was morning! It was a lovely night!

We woke up a lil late! I told her, that i’d give her a sponge bath today! I got everything ready! i placed a stool, in the washroom! I took of her shirt, and her bra! She blushed a lil, which only ended up, us making out, while she sat on me and i sat on the stool!

I took her pants off, while she helped me push it down. I took a sponge, dipped it in some warm water, brushed her body with it! I asked her to raise her hands, so i could cover all of it. I covered her armpits, her hands, did her chest, and then her legs! I didn’t use any soap! I then, made her sit, near the sink, and asked her get all of her, in the front, so i could wash it.

i took some water in a mug, and washed her head! I washed head a couple of times, with some hot and cold water mix! Then i took a towel and had her hair dry! I carried her in my arms, to our bedroom, where i placed her, on the bed, only to cuddle with her yet again, for we slept like a baby, only to wake up all good, and oh it felt beautiful, for i had all that i needed!

my pregnant lady

well, i know i’ve written a lot, like on this, but i just feel like ranting about this.

there are times, when life itself surprises me. like i still wonder, as to how I grew to love. i don’t really know what love is, nor have i felt it in a long time. at times, i do feel lonely, and I’d just look at the night sky and wish that I had someone. but then i look at me and what I’ve achieved until now, and it’s nothing much. but in times like this, the only thing or rather thought that helps me smile is when i imagine my future, w a lady, I’d call my wife and a lil girl, who’d be our daughter.

i can’t wait to be a dad, even though i know, that how hard it really is, but well i just think, all the struggles that i might go through, for my daughter and my wife, would be beautiful and just so worth it.

i close my eyes, and see a lady so beautiful, wearing the dress of life, as I found her laying on my lap. can you people see, what i see? can you people feel, what i feel? oh I feel her soft hair, embracing my hands, as I slowly wave through them. oh I feel her on my lap. the impression of her warmth, the feeling of her being so close, is felt by me. I look into her eyes and oh i smile. i look at her smile, and oh i smile, for there’s something about her smile that just makes me want a daughter even more. I confess my heart as i write this now, but how can i ever write as to how wet actually feels like?

it doesn’t take much to get a lady pregnant. but after she is, it’s an entire different story. it’s not a joke. there’s a responsibility on the man, towards his lady and now his child. and it isn’t easy.

a pregnant lady is as precious as a petal. she’d have shades so many, in seasons so different, but in the end, it’d all be exquisite.

i couldn’t care less what people said about me after reading me. i do not care, if they were to judge me, for what I’m, because it took a lot, for me, to love, love in a way, that i do now and i won’t let anyone’s opinion change it.

to love a lady is a joy forever. there’s so much to say, so much to do, so much to write, and this will never be over, for as long as I’m breathing I’d feel and as and when I’d feel, I’d write.

now imagine yourself, w your lady. you’re right next to her on a bed. she’s resting, because it’s just v tiring. she’s wearing nothing and is completely naked because that i guess is the most comfortable. her body smells of marigolds that oh are just mesmerizing. i found myself, pulling her close to me, only so that i could wrap my arms, around her in a way, that oh she’d think that oh that she’s dressed. I’ll make my arms her sleeves, as and when I’d caress her hands. she’d lay, right next to me, while we love each other in a way so silent that oh the world would listen in awe. oh can you feel now, what I feel? can you see now, what I see? oh i feel my arms, on her oh so soft belly and oh how do i not fall in love w it, for oh she’s beautiful, in a way so special, like never before. oh i feel my arms, as i slowly trace my fingers over her belly, in circles, and oh it feels beautiful. i drew butterflies w rose petals, only to kiss it later and oh I fell in love. i saw her sneak a smile and oh i fell in love. oh I saw her, and oh i fell in love.

this was just a small chest of emotions, that one might feel while their lady is pregnant. i feel like kissing someone now, haha. i think I’ll kiss the pillow I sleep w tonight, yet again. also I don’t mind sharing this, so well whenever, I miss my daughter, I tend to play this game called ‘my talking Angela’ it’s like talking tom, but just that it’s like a female. and it feels really nice. you like feed her, brush her teeth,  put her to sleep. and well, i imagine all this and it feels beautiful. a lil embarrassed but nvm. see you.

things to do after you’re in a live in

i was reading this girl’s post and so that thing just inspired me to write my feelings on this subject, that is, what i would do and stuff

1) cook for us
so, not a lot of people know that, but i like love to cook and when i’m like w a girl in a house of my own, i’ll cook for sure, for it is rather a beautiful feeling, like to cook for someone you love and then just gaze at her, while she’s eating, no matter what it is! this is btw a very adorable sight to witness. like i dont know, how many of you can imagine this, but there’s so much that goes on to cooking. like you can look into her eyes, while cutting vegetables! i’ll have a few terms and conditions which i’ll write on blank stickers in shapes of hearts or like food items and like paste them on the walls of our kitchen. which she will have to follow. well, so the list is something like this.
a) kiss on my lips, to make me get up from the bed.
b) another kiss, that’ll open my eyes.
c) whisper i love you 5 times and kiss me, yet again. (do it or no food for you. :p)
okay now, if it’s at night, then i’ll cook, while she sits somewhere, in the kitchen and not on my mouth, otherwise i dont think we’d cook anything, for we’d be busy making love! if it’s in the morning, i’ll let her sleep while i cook :)
d) kiss me after every 5 mins, while i’m cooking, otherwise i’ll pour flour over you, haha! )which is btw a lovely thing to witness. for she’d be like oh aaah what did you do blah blah, but it is just lovely and adds spice to the experience of like cooking w your women)
it’s funny that how i can like keep going on w this, for there’s just no end as to what one can do.

2) feed and serve her! i know that the usual thing that happens in like every house, is that the lady should serve and all that, but i think that’s going to change, for either it’ll be me serving her and like arranging the plates on the table, or it’ll be both of us. i think, we’d never really eat on the dining table, for we’d always be curled up on the couch, or like the beanbag! it feels lovely trust me! like she’s over you, and there’s a movie going on and the lights are dim. i absolutely wont mind, feeding her at this moment, because like who wouldn’t want to? like it’d feel so lovely. like the girl, you’d be with, would be like breath-takingly beautiful, and you’d be in love, so why the fuck would you, not want to? anyway, it’s a really beautiful feeling, like feeding her w your own hands! i might even do it in public no matter what anyone might have to say. there’s again a lot you can write on this topic!

3) be responsible.
okay, well no matter what, in the end, it’ll be just the two of you. and you have to be responsible and well aware of how things work. you have to know, as to how to handle things wisely and properly. it’s a lot of work and is hard, but if you’re smart enough, you can do it. learn to handle things!

4) have a bath together? like, if you’re a couple, you just have to! like imagine yourself in a bathtub, w a few candles, and a few roses, just here and there! and just don’t say anything! just strip her down, and kiss her, until you cant breath no more, and lay in the water, and just enjoy! her warm, milky skin, would feel just lovely on you! the way, she would look in your eyes, while you’d be laying in the bathtub, would feel even lovelier!
it must feel so lovely, like when you would caress your lips, over her wet neck, only to kiss her, yet again! this is me doing all this and a lil more, which is well a secret for now!

5) make love, whenever you want to, however you want to! well, making love is an art! like you can make love to her, like anywhere you’d like to! you can explore positions, or like try new different things, or use chocolate or like vanilla. and i think, i’d be v passionate and nothing else would matter, while i’d be busy making love to her. it is a fact that making love is a feeling so beautiful that many people do not really know, but i’m telling you! it really is! it just feels amazing! like all of it! when you’re inside her, or she’s tasting you! i feel a lil too much, so i just can write fucking books on this, but you get the point! it’s a vvv beautiful feeling!

in the end, live your life, in the way you want to and just enjoy your life w her!

far beyond the living

sometimes, i imagine living in future, but how can i? for i haven’t worked hard enough in my present to be able to live in my tomorrow.

but oh i still dream. i dream of a land, where there is no greed, nor there’s any religion. there’s no deceit, nor there’s lust. there’s no man, nor there’s any women, except me and her.

how lovely would it be? for i’d be living in a land, where all beautiful things grows to bloom. a land of just two innocent souls, married, growing, blooming, untouched from all that ruins one.

the land, i live in, w her, lies on the lap of the ocean so blue, oh sometimes, i forget, where is the sky, and oh where is the ocean. for during the day, she twinkles my path, and at night, the others. “let’s not dwell, on building a home so fancy, for oh look around us and oh witness as to how blessed we are to have, everything one might desire,” i heard my beloved say. oh how my heart fluttered at such wisdom, as i asked her, if i may embrace her. and oh i did.

let’s cut down a few trees, but only after we have planted the same, if not more. wood by wood, stood the walls of a house. with a roof, of banana leaves, gave us shade, while we cuddled over flowers, that never withered for our love, bloomed them by the night, only to witness us, making love, yet again.

as the waterfall glistened at night, with the onset of the moon, i sat in the lake, with her, while the water sparkled w delight, for oh how beautiful was it? like never before. let us lay naked under the stars, or on the cold sand, where ever we’d like to, only to cuddle, like there’s no end, for my love, it’s just about us, you and me, forever.

let’s breed a few chickens, grow a few vegetables, and cook us a feast, amidst giggles, tears and oh pure love.

let’s catch fishes, while falling in love with each other, only to later trying to roast it, and oh how beautiful would it be?

let’s count the stars, while we lay in each other’s arms on a tree house, that foresees the ocean but not the future.

and oh my love, let’s live a life so pure, only to learn something new, everyday, for every day is a beginning.

this is a dream, i’ll bring to life. dream only if you want to live them. otherwise don’t.
take care! :)

pregnancy

pregnancy is a period of time, which is well a v crucial, for both. and it also is one of the most beautiful period of time, in one’s life or atleast mine.

can anyone imagine, as to how beautiful would it feel? when you’d actually hear that your wife is pregnant w your child. oh that joy, will be priceless and so will be the moment. oh i can imagine her surprising me w the news of she being pregnant and oh i’d kiss her so much, after she would have unveiled this news, only to keep her in my arms, and lay down w her, only to find her over me, and oh i wont let her go.

how exciting would it be? to be able to wake up, every morning and kiss her and then kiss her belly and oh how lovely would it feel? i’d kiss the belly so much. like 100 times a day. while i’d feed her, i’ll talk to the belly and tell her, how cute her mom is looking in the ponytail, i tried on her hair. i’ll ask the belly if i can kiss it, and then make it say yes, by just making it nod. it’d be so much fun. like omg i cant wait.

it’ll take a lot of planning and i think, i’ll leave my work and just spend all day w her. i’ll take care of her and feed her, like all the time, be it fruits, or chocolates or something healthy for that matter. then we’d go for long drives to places so beautiful, only to make out under the starry night.oh how lovely would it feel to cuddle, with my snowman, for oh she’d be just so lovable, like never before.

i think i can talk on this, like all day long, for there’s so much, you can do. so much! the sky is the limit. you can lay w her, in the bathtub, w a few candles, scattered. oh how lovely would it feel, as i’d feel her body, while we lay w our eyes closed, in the rosey water. oh i’d caress her belly and kiss her neck, like i never have, only to never stop, for oh it’d feel beautiful! i’ll paint a smiling face on her belly and just imagine my future daughter smiling, while she’s in my arms, and oh i’d fell in love, with both of them. how beautiful is it, when you imagine yourself, while she lays next to you, on a bed so warm, only to bring her closer to you, and kiss her forehead, while she smiles herself to sleep.

every morning, i’d wake her up, by kissing her, only to bring the breakfast in bed, after which, we’d go for a bath. i’d kiss while she’s in my arms, and kiss again, after the first step and then kiss again, after the next step and oh i’d keep kissing her, for i’d be like 1234, dont stop, just kiss me moree!

but there are also a few problems, which you might face, but there’s no need to worry. i know that, when she’d be pregnant her breasts will be a lot bigger than usual and well softer, so i’ll have to get some lose bras, which i’ll help her wear, every day! i think, i’ll have to buy her bigger than the usual ones. which is fine. also she might drip milk, which i think by using pads, one can solve this problem.

she’ll feel v tired, but i wonder how, for i’d feed her, move her from one place to another, kiss her, caress her, say i love you to her, dance for her, act for her, be stupid, and well, i guess, all this will tire her? :P
well, if she gets tired, i think, i’ll ask the doc for iron supplements or maybe will ask her to decrease her workout time. and will put her to sleep during the day, for short intervals, over me.

i know there will be a lot of vomiting, which if i remember correctly happens during the early stages. so, i guess, i’ll have to clean it up. but i’ll cook her some dish w ginger, which will ease her morning sickness. maybe ginger tea. also feeding her cereals would be cute and a lovely experience. like so lovely!

also, when i’ll feel my lil child kick, or like her heartbeat, i’m sure, i’d cry of happiness at that moment and kiss my wife, times so many, in front of the doctor. i would.

making her milkshake, will be something i’d do everyday. and it’d be a dark chocolate milkshake, for i read that it’s good for moms.

and how can i forget the maternity photoshoot? oh that cute belly which would grow so big, oh i imagine this and smile, and just idk blush for it’d be such a beautiful feeling. we will pose for pictures, while we create memories, only to look at them, once my child will be old enough.

i’d kiss that belly of hers, every dayy! and i think, i’ll keep a belly for myself too, for i dont want her to feel fat. i would, maybe. :)

and there’s so much else one can do, and i know i can never really write as to what are all the things, i’ll do, for it’d be a book in itself.

anyway, take care. i need to rush, so byee.

shall

must it be written, then shall it’d become a reality
must it’s not, then oh sweat until written and shall it’d become a reality.

being a dreamer is one thing. but being able to achieve the dreams that oh you crave for is another. most of us, dream hard, but don’t work hard. for when you dream, you face failures. you face obstacles. you face embarrassment. and not all can withstand these, every day. for they are weak and scared. they become just a voice in a noise that cheers for someone who did it. who succeeded.

but what people don’t understand is, that it’s hard. it’s so fucking hard. to go out in the world, and do something, which no one could ever or will ever do. for no one knows the pain, the sweat, the hours spent on mastering their work in a way so creative, that oh the whole world would witness in silence while you reach heights no one ever did. dreaming is easy. but not all dreams tend to come true. and when they do, there’s nothing like it. but one have got to stop thinking about reaching the end, before even beginning their journey.

i’ve dreams. which i dont share w anyone, for i dont trust anyone. and in this world, so shouldn’t you. for there is deceit. everywhere.

it’s difficult. it’s really hard. sometimes, you’d wish, that you’d have someone, who would tell you and things will be fine. and you’ll be able to do it, but you’d still find yourself alone. for that’s how it works. sometimes you will doubt yourself, that if you can really do it. sometimes you’ll be dissed for believing in your dreams. for believing in yourself.

people would laugh at you. they would try to bring you down. they would talk behind your backbut dont worry, for if you’re consistent w your hard work. one day, it’ll pay off. it always does, no matter what you’re doing.

the best investment that you can make, while working on any form of art, will be on yourself. you need to keep on developing yourself. you need to make yourself better. you have to. and it’s hard. it really is. this thing which i realized, is also the words of the multi billionaire, warren buffet.

also, you will have to learn to fight back. to face all your failures. to term a a bad day, rather as a character building day, as said by les brown.

i lost all my gains, because i wanted to get bigger. so, i ate a lot of things, and after a few months, i had a belly, which was rather cute. any girl could lay on it, as if i was her pillow. this is the retirement plan. i also became v golu molu. if you’re wondering what golu molu is, it means, chubby cheeks.

so, after gaining weight, i started cardio and lifting.

running on empty roads, at 4:30 in the morning, and pushing yourself to run that extra mile, which will make it all worth it. but it’s difficult. that last rep. that last smile. that’s the difference and that my friend is difficult. it really is. but i get to sleep naked after that, which feels amazing. nvm.

it’s not that i’ve lost my love for writing love and romance. it’s still in me. but writing blogs will not help me fulfill my dreams. i dont think it can for anyone for having a blog, where you write is like a grain of sand as compared to the world, that you live in. like i said, you need to develop, unless you want to live the monotonous life.

my dreams revolve around love and romance. i’ll always love, love. and there’s nothing more beautiful than love, no matter how painful it might be.

also i’m my getting my first tattoo, just above my chest. which is exciting. i’ll post pictures ofcourse. and i visited mumbai and fell in love w it.

anyway, i’m down w fever, so couldn’t go for the early morning jog, and couldn’t sleep either.

take care, all of you.